カラーボックス: The Construction

I imagine in my mind this post's title being read in a deep, masculine voice something like Killstick: The Reckoning, Shopping Mall: Zombie Fragfest IV, or Oh God It's the Flood: You're Screwed. That in mind, here's a picture of a cardboard box:

So I went down to Jusco (Wal-Mart, but spelled with a J because it's Japanese. Or something) and got a scrubby, some suction hooks, and a カラーボックス ("karaa bokksu"). I'm not entirely certain what it is. It cost $9.50 and is, I think, a shelf. Like, an Ikea shelf. JDIC says it means "color box", but it doesn't even return anything on Sanseido or ALC. Go figure.
Anyway, I'm going to try and put it together. I fully expect at least one explosion, and possibly a lemur.

Taking it out of the box, I'm a little impressed with it. For ten bucks, I get chipboard? I'm used to Wal-Mart's polyboard crap. The thing's theoretically rated to hold 5kg (11lbs) per shelf, but I bet I could stand on the thing when it's completed.
The downside to this is that the screws squeak really loudly on the last couple of turns, in addition to being arm-wrenchingly difficult to put in. I'm putting some cooking oil on them in the hopes that it will make this a bit easier.
It didn't.
All was going to smoothly until I realized that I put the top board in one of the middle spots. Fortunately, I realized this right as I finished putting in the second screw holding it in place instead of later, when I would've had to take out 12 screws.
Okay, eight screws down, and I've got the little crappy paper things in the back. I was going to leave them out in the spirit of my カラーボックス not taking itself too seriously, but then I realized that they are probably an integral part of its stability. Oh, and that I need to buy a real screwdriver. Multi-tools are great as a backup, and they get the job done, but... There are 16 more screws now that I wish I didn't have to use a multi-tool on.
Aaaand it's 2:30. Wanna guess what I've done with my day?

Forgot to get soap.